How to Stop Feeling Socially Awkward in 5 Minutes or Less!
Social awkwardness sucks!
You know it, and I know it.
Some feel it more than others, but unless you’re a sociopath, we all have to deal with it. How you deal with it will significantly impact the quality of your life, from the number of close friendships you have, to the amount of money you make.
To live your BEST life, you’ve got to get your social awkwardness under control!
If you could just stop feeling so self-conscious, your social life would improve. Your whole life would improve! But alas, the gods made you an “introvert,” and there’s nothing you can do about it.
Or is there?
What to do about social awkwardness?
Unfortunately, most people do nothing.
We mentally categorize ourselves as “the shy type.” We use our introversion as an excuse to spend our entire lives dodging many social gatherings.
Who can blame us? The best advice we ever heard was “stop being so shy!” Or “stop being so awkward.” As if changing the lifetime of bad physical and mental habits that result in awkwardness were easy.
It’s NOT easy. Not when you’re only strategy for becoming less awkward is to “stop being awkward.”
You play an instrument better by “trying to play better.” How do you play better? That’s the key! You’ve got to know what specifically to do, otherwise even simple tasks become impossible.
If you do know what to do, then eliminating 90% of your social awkwardness is not just possible, it’s inevitable. Anyone can do it.
Let me show you how.
How to stop feeling socially awkward:
If you can alter how you think, then you can change how you feel and behave.
If you can do that, everything you need to do to feel comfortable in social situations will come naturally to you.
You’ll have better conversations. You’ll start to have fun at parties. You’ll enjoy meeting new people. You’ll make more connections. People will feel good around you. People will find you charming.
Sound impossible?
Keep reading and I’ll give you everything you need to flip the script on your life. The first thing you need to understand is that…
Awkwardness is contagious!
When you feel awkward, it makes the people around you feel awkward. When you feel shy, it makes the person you’re speaking to feel shy. The vibes you give off can make people avoid you like the plague.
Why? Because feelings are contagious, and nobody wants to get sick! If your feelings always suck, it’s a big problem socially.
By making people feel awkward, you make them less likely to hire you for jobs, or give you raises, or form partnerships with you. You make people less likely to date you. You make them less likely to be your friend.
You become isolated, and you don’t even know why.
“So what? I don’t need more friends.”
That’s what people say when they’re afraid to change.
It’s understandable. Attempting to connect with strangers and make friends can intimidating. This is especially true if a part of you still remembers all the rejections you’ve suffered, and constantly anticipates more rejection.
No man or woman is an island unto themself. We need friends. We need allies. Life is tough. The more people you can rally to your cause, the better!
Taking a little time to eliminate your social awkwardness is worth it. The skills I’m about to teach you will pay dividends for the rest of your life.
Low-self esteem.
Self acceptance is a deep issue, so we may as well start there.
Don’t worry, this isn’t an article about self-esteem. I’ll give you concrete techniques to improve your social skills and make you feel less awkward, but this has to be addressed.
For so many people, social awkwardness is a symptom of a bigger problem.
People are self-conscious and insecure about what other people think of them, because they don’t like themselves. Because they don’t like themselves, they can’t imagine others liking them either.
They expect to be criticized and rejected, so they become stiff and quiet. They get tongue-tied. They can’t respond naturally; every interaction feels forced.
All of this increases the frequency at which they actually are rejected, which makes their self-esteem sink even lower.
If you relate to any of this, your social problems could go away if you just learned to love yourself. That’s a choice, but it’s also a habit that can be strengthened through training.
How to stop feeling socially awkward:
Where does self-esteem come from?
It’s not the result of how many other people love you. That’s for sure. Just look at how many movie stars, adored by millions, butcher themselves at the plastic surgeons office because they don’t like what they see in the mirror.
Don’ gamble with something so important!
Most people leave their self-esteem up to chance. They don’t actively build it up throughout their lives – no one ever taught them how. So it fluctuates according to the most recent events and circumstances.
When the randomness of life is kind to them, they’ll feel good about themselves. When life is hard on them, they’ll feel bad about themselves.
Ultimately, most people’s heads become so full of self-defeating garbage, they waste precious years of their lives criticizing themselves and bringing themselves down emotionally.
The first step to overcoming social awkwardness is to work on your self-esteem! To learn how to do that, click here.
Boost your self-esteem! For most people, that’s a key step in how to stop feeling socially awkward.
How to stop feeling socially awkward:
Where does social “smoothness” come from?
It it genetic? Is it learned? Is it a gift from the gods?
In my opinion, it’s learned.
We all vary genetically in terms of extroversion vs introversion, but that’s just a starting point. It’s what we have when we’re born. After that, life experience takes over.
The most social, least awkward people I’ve ever see get a ton of practice, and practice supersedes everything else. Most of them have careers requiring them to interact with strangers every single day.
I’m talking about photographers, real estate agents, and preachers. I’m talking about firefighters, and paramedics. Salesman of any kind. Promoters. Managers.
No matter how introverted a person technically supposed to be genetically, they become charming and outgoing by virtue of experience. Likewise, working in a tiny office all day, isolated, will make even the most outgoing person in the world become shy and introverted.
So, to recap…
1. No one stays at the same level social ability forever. We’re always getting better or worse based on the amount of practice and exposure we’re receiving.
2. Become less socially awkward takes practice and exposure!
To get comfortable, you need to constantly practice. The more you practice, the more you can DESENSITIZE yourself to the source of anxiety, just like those fire fighters, managers, and real estate agents.
How to stop feeling socially awkward:
Desensitize Yourself!
When you constantly exposeyourself to social situations, you become less sensitive. You get used to it.
This isn’t a choice. It’s how the brain works.
It’s why drug addicts need larger and larger doses to feel the same high. It’s why porn addicts need more and more extreme material to feel the same high.
For them, desensitization is the bane of their existence. But for you, it’s your saving grace! Why?
Because what you call “social awkwardness” is really the feeling of over-stimulation due to lack of exposure!
Did you know? Lizards need thick skin to survive in the world. You do, too!
How to stop feeling socially awkward:
Why do you find social interactions over-stimulating?
Maybe you grew up an only child. Maybe you were ostracized at school and had few friends.
Whatever the case, at some point, social interactions became stressful for you, so you self-isolated a little more. You got used to being alone. This lead to even less exposure, which exacerbated the problem.
Don’t worry!
All of this is fine, as long as you understand that one of the keys to eradicating social awkwardness is to desensitize yourself.
How? By deliberately putting yourself in social situations.
Find an activity that requires you to interact with people. Take a class – at least you’ll be sitting near other people. That will desensitize you.
Call a random businesses and talk to whoever picks up for a minute or two. If you’ve got social phobia, then low-stakes, anonymous interactions like these are exactly what you need.
As soon as you can, start going to parties and bar-b-cues. Stop turning down invitations. Go to everything you can, but always remember:
You’re NOT going to these events to make friends and have a good time. Your goal is to desensitize yourself! That’s your only mission, and it’s a worthy one.
Pretty soon, you will be desensitized. That awkward feeling you get around others will fade away. You’ll start to enjoy being around other people. They’ll start to enjoy being around you.
How to stop feeling socially awkward:
That doesn’t mean you get to rest on your laurels!
If you stop interacting with people, you’ll eventually become hyper-sensitive again.
That’s okay!It’s normal.
Just keep in mind that when the awkwardness comes back, it doesn’t mean all your hard work was in vain. It just means it’s time desensitize yourself again. That process will get easier and faster every time, because you’ve done it before and know what to expect.
I promised to give you concrete skills, so here they are!
Everything in life is hard if you don’t know what you’re doing. That’s as true for socializing as it is for flying a plane.
But socializing isn’t as hard as flying a plane. It’s not brain surgery. It easy!
Just practice these 3 techniques, and your comfort level in all social situations will SKYROCKET. These are to be the foundation of everything else you do socially.
How to stop feeling socially awkward:
1. Smile more often.
Confident people smile. Trustworthy people smile. Fun people smile.
Smiling shows the world that life hasn’t beaten you down yet. It makes you look successful, like a person who’s used to being valued and respected their peers. Like someone who’s actually enjoying life.
Smiling shows people you’re friendly, and that you’re probably easy to talk to.
Don’t try to look tough by frowning. It doesn’t make you look tough. It just makes people think you’re having a bad day, and that you want to be left alone.
Science has proven that smiling can actually improve your mood, so do it! The better a mood you can be in, the more social you’re going to feel.
Just don’t smile constantly or you’ll look nuts. A quick smile upon greeting a person, then from time to time afterward is more than enough.
How to stop feeling socially awkward:
2. Make Eye Contact.
Eye contact shows confidence.
It indicated that you feel safe with the person you’re talking to, which makes them feel safe around you; it’s human nature to reciprocate.
It shows you’re interested in what the other person is saying, which makes them feel good and want to interact with you even more.
It shows you’re an honest person. You can be trusted. You’re not lying.
Don’t stare people dead in the eye 100% of the time, though, as that can make them uncomfortable.
A general rule is to maintain eye contact whenever someone is speaking to you. Look away once in a while while you’re speaking. That’s the right balance!
How to stop feeling socially awkward:
3. Find things in common.
Everyone enjoys talking about things they’re an expert in, and everyone is an expert in themselves. So ask them about that!
What are their hobbies? What do they do for work? Be curious! Be interested. Ask follow up questions, and always look for things you have in common.
By showing that you’re interested in them, you give them validation by making them feel interesting.
By talking about your similarities, you further validate their opinions and experiences.
You see, the key to being “smooth” socially is to make other people feel good. All the advice I’ve given you is designed to do just that. Make the other person feel comfortable.
By trying to make other people feel comfortable, you take the your focus off of yourself. You become less self-conscious. That’s alone should eliminate 70% of your social awkwardness.
By actually making them comfortable, so that they’re opening up to you and you’re all carrying on like old friends, you eliminate the other 30%.
How to stop feeling socially awkward:
4. SUPER SECRET Bonus Maneuver!
This one is optional, but it’s SO powerful, you’d be insane not to make a part of your arsenal.
Give the person you’re talking to a compliment!
Not a big one. A small one.Tell them you like their shoes, or you think their cell-phone protector is cool. If their job sounds interesting, tell them!
Whatever compliment you give, just make sure it’s sincere. Otherwise, you might set off their BS detector.
Remember, it’s human nature to reciprocate! If you indicate to others that you like them, they’ll tend to like you back. They can’t help it; it’s hardwired into them.
How to stop feeling socially awkward:
How to Get Started?
Don’t try to do everything at once. Just take it one step at a time.
Talk to the store clerk for a minute or two. Talk to retail workers. Talk to anyone. You need to rack up exposures any way you can.
If you want to stay anonymous, try calling a random business in another state. Talk for a minute or two, at some point asking something personal about themselves.
Do they have any kids? Do they like their job? What were they doing before they took this job?
Ask them anything, and let it be awkward! Remember, your goal isn’t to be smooth or charming. It’s just to desensitize yourself.
Keep desensitizing yourself. Keep practicing the 4 techniques I taught you. In no time at all, you’ll become comfortable with people. Most conversations will start to feel predictable, manageable.
You’ll become good with people, and your social awkwardness will become a thing of the past.
How to stop feeling socially awkward:
Don’t memorize, internalize!
When social awkwardness strikes, and you’re feeling anxious, it can be very difficult to remember what do. So, don’t try to remember the tips and tricks I’ve given you. Instead…
Internalize them using positive affirmations!
That way, the feelings and behaviors I’ve talked about will start to come out of you automatically, because you’ve programmed them into your subconscious mind.
Affirmations work by affecting your subconscious, and it only takes 5 MINUTES A DAY!
Have you ever sat in a safe, comfortable movie theater, then flinched when the monsters appeared on screen? Why did you flinch?
Your conscious mind knew you were safe, but your subconscious mind believed the monsters were real. It believe everything you tell it, then makes you behave accordingly.
If you constantly tell it that you’re good at socializing, you will be. If you constantly tell it you smile when meeting strangers, you will.
The key is repetition. The more times you think something, the more it becomes a habit to think it. Habitual thoughts become actions, and our actions create our lives.
How to stop feeling socially awkward:
The Method
Read the following affirmations everyday for 5 minutes straight!
You can print out the PDF and read them to yourself in silence, or you can watch the video. Both have their advantages. If you want to eliminate your social awkwardness as fast as possible, I recommend doing both.
When you use the PDF sheet, it’s important to set a countdown timer. By setting a timer, you free yourself to focus only on the affirmations, instead of constantly wondering how much time has elapsed.
5 minutes is the minimum, but the more you read these affirmations, the faster your results will come.
You’ll become more skilled at disarming people with a smile, and by showing that you’re interested in them. Everything you need to do to convert strangers into a friends will start to come automatically.
Do the affirmations.
Social awkwardness is just a temporary step on the way to social mastery. You can get good with people. You’ve just got to program it into yourself.
Good luck!
-Tommy
Affirmations to Eliminate Social Awkwardness
- I love working on my social skills!
- I smile whenever I meet people.
- I ask questions about people’s interests. I’m a very curious person!
- I enjoy making eye contact.
- I’m great with people, because I engage in as many social interactions as I can!
- Awkward situations are fun for me! I expose myself to awkwardness whenever possible, because that’s how I desensitize myself.
- I’m a great conversationalist.
- I’m not perfect, and I never want to be!
- I love meeting strangers. I enjoy thinking of compliments to give them.
- It’s fun making other people feel comfortable.