What Does Fear of
Missing Out Mean?
(Stop it from ruining your life!)
You’ve gotta love the internet! I know I do.
But as much as I enjoy being able to play Mortal Kombat with friends in Vietnam, and stream any episode of Gilligan’s Island I want, whenever I want, there are some serious drawbacks.
We’re constantly bombarded with more information, more choices, and more opportunities than ever before. Social media has made it easy to stay in the loop with everyone we know, and at all times.
We’ve become so concerned with all the interesting things other people are doing, so focused on the what we could be doing, that we neglect what’s actually going on in our lives!
You know what I’m talking about. A husband and wife lie in bed together, inches apart, but they aren’t talking. Each is hypnotized by their own phone. They might as well be in two different countries.
A family sits down for dinner, but instead of talking, everyone gets on their own phone. They check the news, text their friends, scroll through social media. They everything except pay attention to what’s happening right in front of their faces… and they don’t enjoy their meal.
What the hell is going on?
Fear of missing out (FOMO) is what’s going on. We want to stay connected to everyone and everything at all times! Whatever happens, we DO NOT want to miss out.
Unfortunately, our brains aren’t designed to handle this non-stop stream of information. Trying to keep up with it is a recipe for psychological disaster, and I’ll tell you why.
What Does Fear of Missing Out Mean:
Something changed.
Hundreds of years ago, we lived in simple villages and interacted with only a handful of people. These people also lead simple lives.
We’d go about our days concerned only about what affected the immediate future: are the crops getting enough water? They are? Great. Then it’s a good day.
You could find out what your friend was doing 50 miles away, but you had to send a hand-written letter by stagecoach. It might be weeks before you got a letter in return. That left plenty of time to continue tending to your own life.
Nowadays, if an old friend from high school buys a car, you know about it. If a distant cousin takes a trip to Hawaii, you know about it. If Bob, the former janitor of your grade school, takes his wife to Crumble Cookie, you know about it!
What Does Fear of Missing Out Mean:
Vicarious Existence is a Waste of Time!
It’s nice to peek in on the lives of other people once in a while. When I was a kid, if you visited someone’s house, especially an “old person,” they’d whip out a dusty old photo album to show you. 30 years of a person’s most significant life events might be covered in just a few dozen pictures.
Today, everything is photographed, and everything is shared immediately. This bombardment of information leads to anxiety and pressure to keep up with the whole world.
Bob is eating a Crumble cookie? Then I want to eat a Crumble cookie, too! Kevin bought a Porsche? Then I want a Porsche, too! Even if I can’t afford a Porsche, I’ll feel envious, and I’ll enjoy my own car just a little bit less.
What Does Fear of Missing Out Mean:
FOMO stops you from enjoying what you already have!
It’s a feeling of anxiety that arises from the belief that others are having a more interesting or enjoyable time than you, and that you’re missing out on something important.
It’s a chronic dissatisfaction with what you have. It’s an unrelenting desire for more. More information. More of what they have. More everything!
FOMO is becoming a serious problem, and its on the rise. Tons of people are feeling it. The adverse effects must not be ignored.
What Does Fear of Missing Out Mean:
Symptoms of FOMO:
- Do you have trouble concentrating on a single task for an extended period of time?
- Do you constantly check social media to see what everyone else is doing?
- Have you ever gotten the urge to buy something, perhaps a new cellphone, immediately after someone else bought it?
- Do you feel the need to stay up-to-date with the news, so check your phone 15 times a day?
- Have you ever watched one Youtube video while simultaneously scrolling for the next one?
- Have you ever had to use the toilet, but delayed “making your deposit” because you couldn’t find your phone?
These are all symptoms of FOMO, the fear of missing out, and they’re bringing you down more than you know.
As I mentioned before, the reason why FOMO has become so prevalent is that social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter allow us to share every aspect of our lives with others.
We post pictures of our vacations, our meals, and our experiences, creating a digital highlight reel that may not accurately reflect our real lives. Other people do the same, and all of us are left wondering, if only unconsciously, how our own lives stack up to everyone else’s.
What Does Fear of Missing Out Mean:
The Consequences
Studies show that our happiness doesn’t come from what we have, but how we perceive what we have in comparison to our peers.
A BMW is a great car; owning one should make you feel like a success! Unless, of course, everyone in your neighborhood drives a Lambo; then you’ll just feel like a chump.
When you spend time on social media, that’s what’s happening! You’re mind is being flooded with images of how great everyone else’s life is, and your brain can’t help but make comparisons.
You’re conscious of the fact that the people you see on social media have problems like everyone else, and that the images represent only a small portion of their lives. However, your emotions don’t come from your conscious mind. If they did, everyone could make a conscious decision to feel happy 24 hours a day, but it doesn’t work like that.
What Does Fear of Missing Out Mean:
Most people aren't aware they're suffering FOMO.
Emotions come from the deepest recesses of the primitive brain. They come from your unconscious mind.
If you constantly show your brain images of everyone else having a great time – a better time than you – then your brain is going to get depressed, and you might not even know why.
It’s going to make you feel envious. It’ll make you feel dissatisfied with all the good you already have.
It doesn’t matter what you consciously know about Bob’s pending divorce, or Kevin being audited by the IRS. Your brain sees cookie, new car, vacation, beach party, road trip, etc, and you feel like your own life is passing you by.
What Does Fear of Missing Out Mean:
The Cure
To combat FOMO, it’s important to recognize that social media and the internet don’t always reflect reality.
Everyone experiences life differently, and just because someone else is doing something doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for you.
It’s also important to set boundaries and prioritize your own needs and values, rather than feeling pressured to keep up with others.
1. Remind yourself that social media isn’t real.
It’s curated to exaggerate the good in people’s lives while leaving out the negatives. Stop taking it seriously.
2. Take a break from social media altogether!
There are countless studies demonstrating that the more time a person spends on social media, the more depressed they become about their own lives.
Take a break! Logout, and say logged out for as long as you possibly can. The more time, the better.
3. Stop comparing yourself to others.
Instead, compare yourself to YOU from a year ago, or 5 years ago, or 10 years ago. It’s the only fair comparison.
Of all the people in the entire world, no one else has the same combination of talents, flaws, emotions, experiences, and knowledge as you do. No ones had the same advantages and disadvantages as you. It’s ridiculous to compare your life progress with anyone else’s, so don’t.
Compare your present state of existence to what it was before, and if it’s even a little bit better, then pat yourself on the back. You’re progressing.
4. Train your mind to appreciate what you have.
This is much easier said than done, as most people don’t have control of our most frequent thoughts. You can change that be reading affirmations. Here are 10 affirmations designed to re-program your mind to appreciate everything you have.
Read the PDF printout, or watch the video. After 5 minutes, assess how you feel. If you feel like your mind is in a better place, then start doing this everyday. After a while, appreciation and gratitude will become your default state of being, and FOMO will become a thing of the past.
AFFIRMATIONS of GRATITUDE
- I’ve got a great life! I’m happy to be me.
- I appreciate all that I have.
- I love my body, and I’m grateful for the health I’ve been given.
- I always look on the bright side of everything.
- I appreciate my friends and family.
- I enjoy my life! The universe has given me everything I need.
- Every time I eat, I see that food as a blessing!
- I’ve got a lot compared to most people in the world. I’m a very lucky person.
- I always focus on the good in my life, and there’s a lot of it!
- Things always work out in my favor, and I’m grateful.
- I take joy in very simple things.
-Tommy