Why am I so depressing?
6 Little Known Ways to fix it, FAST!
What do you mean “depressing?”
Do you mean that you bring other people down? If so, that’s quite a problem.
Being depressing can wreak havoc on your social life. Although your friends may genuinely care about you, if you constantly bring them down, they might start to avoid you.
It’s only natural. Everyone tends to be overwhelmed by their own problems. They gravitate toward those who put them in a good mood; who help them forget about their worries.
Most likely, though, you’re unconsciously exaggerating the negative effect you have on people.
Why?
Because you’re depressed, and because you’re self-esteem might be hurting.
In this article, I’ll provide a few answers to the question of: “Why am I so depressing?”
More importantly, I’ll give you a simple method of correcting the problem by actually programming yourself to think and feel better. This method is easy, free, and takes just a few minutes of your time.
Why am I so depressing:
1. It might be all in your head!
We tend to underestimate the value we bring to other people’s lives.
We crack jokes that mean nothing to us. But to others who might be depressed at the time, or are having a rough day, those jokes might be exactly what they need to get through the day. You don’t know what people are going through. You don’t know how you really make them feel.
You might have a friend you only hear from once a year, so you think you’re not important to them. But to them, you might be one of the most important friends they have.
Again, you just don’t know what’s going on in other people’s heads.
To assume you do know is a huge mistake, but that’s what’s happening when you assume you bring other people down.
So think hard about this. Maybe you’re not a depressing person at all! Maybe you just perceive it that way because you’re suffering from low self-esteem.
Low self-esteem is hard to diagnose yourself, especially if you’ve been living with it for so long it feels normal. If even a tiny part of you suspects that this is you, you owe it to yourself to fix it.
The good news is that by the end of this article, you’ll know exactly how.
Why am I so depressing:
2. Are you depressed?
Like low self-esteem, depression can be hard to admit, even to ourselves.
We think of it as a sign of weakness. We think we should be able to handle anything in life without getting down on ourselves. That’s a fine thing to aspire too, but it’s also very unrealistic.
Everyone gets depressed from time to time, and emotions are contagious. If you’re always feeling down, it can lower the mood of the people around you.
This is NOT something to feel guilty about, nor is it a reason to hide what you’re feeling from your friends and loved ones.
Sharing your problems with each other is what makes you friends. Sharing your feelings is what makes you family. Friends and family rely on each other.
If you hide your pain because you don’t want to bring your friends and family down, then what you’re really doing is treating them like strangers. Do do that.
If you’re depressed, tell someone. They want to know. They want to feel it with you.
They deserve the opportunity to try to pull you through it. Don’t deny them that.
Sooner or later, they’re gonna be depressed, too. And they’re gonna need you to return the favor by listening to their problems, feeling their emotions, and pulling them through it.
Why am I so depressing:
3. You’re social skills might need work.
If you’re genuinely not depressed but you think you bring people down, then maybe you just need to work on your conversational skills a bit.
Lot’s of people go into social encounters with no strategy at all. No goal. They just say whatever comes to their mind.
That’s okay if you’re generally a positive person, but for the rest of us, it helps to be a little more strategic about the things we say.
Don't be a Debbie.
When I was a kid, I used to be fascinated by the history of the bubonic plague (and other morbid things), so that’s what I’d talk about.
I didn’t realize that what I chose to talk about could affect people’s emotions. I just talked about whatever I was interested in. Looking back, I’m pretty sure I brought people down, causing some people to avoid me like… well, the plague!
Don’t be like me.
The next time you’re interacting with someone, deliberately try to steer the conversation to a positive place. Talk about things you find funny, or something silly. It doesn’t matter, so long as it’s not negative.
That can be hard at first, especially if your only source of conversational material is the news (which is almost always negative), or if you’re only interested in morbid things, like I was. It gets easier with practice, though. The better you get, the more people are going to actually enjoy talking to you.
Again, don’t be afraid to open up to your friends and loved ones about whatever is bothering you.
But if you’re feeling okay, try not to constantly bring up bad news for no reason. Always remember the first rule of social interactions: “Don’t be a Debbie Downer.”
Debbie Downer: A hilarious Saturday Night Live character who would constantly talk about negative things for no reason at all. She wasn’t malicious. She just lacked social skills.
Why am I so depressing:
4. Play the Game!
Be the kind of person who deliberately cheers people up.
Try to see the humor in everything. Use it to make other people laugh.
Think of it as a game you’re playing. Once you get a few positive reactions out of people, you’ll understand why professional comedians tend to love what they do.
It’s not for the money; that’s for sure. Most comedians work practically for free.
They do it because they love making people feel good! I’m not saying to constantly crack jokes, but a little humor to lighten the mood now and then tends to be appreciated.
Why am I so depressing:
Let people know you like them.
You don’t have to literally say, “I like you!”
But when other people talk about their goals and accomplishments, let them know you’re impressed.
Don’t try to one-up them by bragging about your own goals and accomplishments. Don’t list the reasons why their goals might not work out, or why the new house they just purchased probably has termites.
They’re trying to impress you, which means on some level, they like you. They want you to like them. Let them know you do by showing you’re impressed!
Build people up. Make them feel good about themselves. It’s such a simple skill, but it’s one of the most important skills you’ll ever learn.
Why am I so depressing:
5. Conquer Your Pessimism!
Pessimism is just as contagious as the flu. Try not to spread it to other people!
Unfortunately, that’s easier said than done. What you talk about, as well as how you talk about things, is a reflection of how you feel inside. If you feel pessimistic, you just can’t help talking about how things won’t work out – about how it’s impossible to do this or that.
If that’s you, you owe it to yourself to change. Program yourself to be optimistic. It’s not hard. This website has all of the resources you need.
Not only will you feel better, you’ll naturally start to talk about things that make people feel good when you’re around.
Most importantly, you’ll start to behave like nothing is impossible.
It’s true! Nothing is impossible. Absorbing this concept into your bones is the first step to getting everything you ever wanted.
Why am I so depressing:
6. Are you a truth teller?
Maybe you’re able to perceive certain truths that others can’t, or won’t.
The economy is falling apart. The media is manipulating us. The whole world is being run by psychos trying to depopulate and enslave us.
In my opinion, there’s truth to all of this.
Make preparations for yourself, but when it comes to others, all you can do is gently glide over the topic and hope they take an interest. If they don’t, it is NOT your job to beat them over the head with it.
You can’t wake people up who don’t want to wake up. Trying will just make them resent you for spreading your “negativity.”
If you love them, the best thing you can do is make yourself strong. Secure your provisions, make preparations, and be there for your friends and family when they need you.
Why am I so depressing:
Information Overload?!
Relax.
That was a lot of advice, but you can incorporate all of it into your life, automatically, just by changing your attitude. You do that with affirmations.
Affirmations work via repetition to alter what you habitually think about. By repeating positive thoughts often enough, you create the habit of thinking positively.
Once you’ve done that, everything about your social interactions will improve.
You’ll naturally gravitate toward funny, entertaining, or generally happy topics of conversation. People will love sharing their hopes and ambitions with you, because they know you won’t shoot them down.
All it takes is a few minutes of mental training each day.
The Unconscious Mind
Affirmations have the power to affect how you think and feel because they operate on the unconscious mind.
The unconscious mind doesn’t know reality from fiction. It accepts all the information you feed it, then tries to make you behave accordingly.
That’s why when you watch a horror movie, your palms sweat and your heart speeds up. Why? Your conscious mind knows you’re safe, but your unconscious mind thinks you’re in danger, so it triggers your fight or flight response.
Read any affirmation often enough, and it alters your subconscious mind.
You don’t have to be a “depressing” person anymore. You can become positive and optimistic. You can become the kind of person people love being around, because you make them feel good.
The right affirmations can enable you to do all of this.
All it takes is 5 minutes a day. The results will astound you.
Why am I so depressing:
The Method
Read the following affirmations for 5 minutes straight, every single day.
They’re designed to combat pessimism, depression, and negative thinking. They’re designed to make you feel better about yourself and the world around you. They will improve your whole vibe, and turn you into a source of positive emotions for others.
You can print out the PDF and read it to yourself while laying or sitting comfortably, or you can watch the video. For the best results, do both!
If you read the PDF, it’s important to set a countdown timer. That way, you can concentrate on what you’re reading instead of constantly wondering how much time has elapsed.
How do you know when the affirmations are working?
You’ll start to feel better. You’ll feel less pessimistic, and a whole lot more optimistic about everything.
You’ll talk less about depressing stuff like what you saw on the news, or how worried you are about the economy.
You’ll gravitate toward lighter, happier topics because you’ll actually feel happier. Feeling happier is a worthy goal in and of itself.
When you feel better, you’ll start to give off good energy. People will feel that energy. They’ll enjoy hanging out with you more, and your social life will improve.
Do the affirmations.
Good luck!
-Tommy
Affirmations for a positive vibe!
- I feel optimistic about my life!
- I’m a very positive person.
- I see the good in other people.
- Life is beautiful! It’s full of challenges, but it’s beautiful nonetheless.
- I see the good in every situation!
- I love being alive. I see a bright future for myself.
- I keep my mind on positive things.
- I love giving compliments! I like making people feel good about themselves.
- I’ve got a great sense of humor! I enjoy making people smile.
- I talk about things that put people in a good mood.